A Year Ago Today

I’ve got butterflies in my stomach as I sit down to write this……A

year ago today, I sat in the same cozy chair that I’m in right now in

my living room and answered the phone. It was the nurse from my OBGYN

who called to let me know the results of my quad screen.

“1 in 1000 chance of neural tube defects, (Great!), 1 in 1000 chance

of spinabifida, (Wonderful)……{sigh over the phone}……and a 1 in

43 chance for Down Syndrome.”

“Ummm, what? Could you say that…did you mean…..what did you say

again?” {My heart was in my throat, beating faster than ever

before….}

“The quad screen tested a 1 in 43 chance for your baby to have Down

Syndrome….what we’re going to want to do now is get you in for an

ultrasound as soon as possible. Hold on while I call down to see when

we can work you in. Don’t worry, Emily. These tests are wrong 90% of

the time.”

Seth says there's nothing to fear

Fear. Panic. Crying. Sobbing. Weeping. I have to talk to Joel.

This is a mistake. This isn’t happening. This is crazy. Things like

this don’t happen to me- it happens to someone else. Why would God

let this happen? We serve in our church week after week. We’re good

people. We do all the right things and try to teach our daughter the

same. Our kids are supposed to grow up to really make an impact in

this world with their educations and willingness to serve God and love

others. This wasn’t in my plan- when I dreamed of how my life would

go, this wasn’t even a thought. How am I supposed to sleep until I

know for sure that my baby is okay? It’s okay- I just know this has

to be a mistake. Why did I even take that stupid test to begin with

when the results are so often wrong? Who can I call? I don’t know

anyone else who’s had this happen…..or do I and people just don’t

mention it? I need to talk to God- if I pray hard enough- if I beg

Him, this will go away. He always works things out for me, so He’ll

take this burden off us.

You know how it turned out. Seth.

Joy. Laughter. Peace.

We’ve got him. We’re living with Down Syndrome every day. And you know what? It’s not scary. It’s not bad. It wasn’t a curse for something we did wrong. It was God’s plan for our lives.

It was who God created Seth to be. We’re still

serving in our church week after week because God is faithful and

deserves our honor and praise. We’re teaching both Seth and Ella to

love God that way. Seth will grow up to make an impact on this world-

in fact, he already has. This wasn’t how I planned my life- it’s way

sweeter with Seth in it. I sleep great at night because we’re in the

middle of God’s plan for us. Seth wasn’t a mistake. I’m glad I took

the test because it forced me to rely on God a whole lot more than I

did before. I know a lot of people who are now walking this road with

me and their precious, perfect little children. And I still need to

talk to God- every day, every hour, every minute. If I pray hard

enough, He’ll continue to lead my heart. He always works things out

for me for the good, and Seth is proof of that.